40 New Years Resolution 2020

Time to finally get off my 'buts'.

1. End homelessness

2. Cure global hunger and provide healthy and delicious alternatives.

3. Clean gutters/rake leaves/call deck guy for an estimate.

4. Stop Amazon rainforest destruction immediately. Speaking of Amazon, cancel Amazon Prime.

5. Start getting up at 4 in the morning, work out for 45 minutes, meditate and work on my priority tasks for 2020.

4. Convince all Republicans in Congress to support equal pay, equal opportunities, equal education, equal food distribution, equal housing & basic needs for all humans, regardless of nationality, race, gender identity, sexual orientation, skin color, height, weight, IQ, EQ, Enneagram #, skills, abilities, sense of humor, and pre-existing conditions.

7. Volunteer for the World Wildlife Fund to improve the lifestyles of wildlife—including mammals, mollusks, echinoderms, jellyfish, sea snakes, sponges, whales, seabirds, and shorebirds every fish, bird, reptile, amphibians insects and parasitic bacterium.

8. Seal all windows, install an extra layer of insulation in the attic, , install low flow high-efficiency plumbing fixtures replace all bulbs with LEDs. and fix faucet that's been dripping for the last six years.

9. Invent a system to clean the planets water and air supply. Ask Elon Musk fi he would make this a higher priority over the LA tunnel project,

10. Release refugee children from cages, reunite with parents and grant asylum to anyone who doesn't want to kill us.

11. Outlaw civilian ownership of military-type weapons. Scratch that. Disarm everyone everywhere.

12. Stock up on paper towels the next time they are sale.

13. Eliminate fossil-fuels, make planet solar-powered, wind-powered, water-powered. geothermal-powered, safe nuclear fission-powered yet-to-be-discovered-powered.

14. Write grant proposals for networks of carbon neutral transportation in the air, on the sea and on the ground. Ask Elon to work out the details when. he can spare the time.

15. Reverse warming temperatures & rise of oceans Ask Elon if he can excavate ocean floors by three inches to compensate. If it’s not too much trouble ask him to figure out an inexpensive way to remove all plastic from sea,

16. Take ayahuasca with indigenous shaman in Peru. Then try peyote, psilocybin, and prickly pear cactus.

17. Find new dentist who uses nitrous oxide.

18. Fill prescriptions for Wellbutrin, Paxil, Adderall, & Valium/stop taking baby aspirin says somebody on FB/continue COQ-10, Omega 3s, D3/B12, turmeric, magnesium, DHEA, NAC & nootropics.

19. Hide all sharp objects.

20. Master Tai Chi, Chi Gong,Tae Kwon Do, Jujitsu, and anything else Asian-sounding.

21. Speed read all of Alan Watts books.

22. Take hot yoga classes at the YMCA.

23. Buy a shoji screen, a tatami mat and a matcha tea making machine.

24. Locate God, Allah, Brahman, Christ and Buddha. Negotiate a religious treaty.

25. Figure out what kind of gift to bring to a pap smear party.

26. End factory farming and animal lab testing, especially on eyes of kittens.

27. Plow under the weedy front yard lawn and plant arugula, snap peas, and eggplants.. Build a 16 foot solid fence around backyard lawn and plant cannabis.

28. End sex-trafficking and sexual abuse of children.

29. Call Elon to ask if the Department of Corrections can use his SpaceX vehicles to launch convicted predators into the Kuiper Belt orbit

30. Take online classes to learn how to discover cures Alzheimer’s, ALS, asthma, autism, Parkinson’s, cancer, heart disease, emphysema, arthritis (rheumatoid & osteo), lupus, diabetes Type 1, Type 2, Types 3-5, hepatitis A, B, C, D, & E, cystic fibrosis, gluten sensitivity, celiac disease, lactose intolerance, meningitis, tuberculosis, herpes, chlamydia, all STDs, multiple sclerosis, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, Epstein-Barre, Hashimoto’s, flu, shingles, hay fever, Lyme disease, heal blindness, deafness, chronic pain, motion sickness and acne.

31. Volunteer at a dog and cat adoption fair and become a foster parent to a half dozen at a time.

32. Join counter protests at White Nationalist, alt-Right, Aryan militias and KKK. Bring mace and wear running shoes.

33. Work on plan to eliminate pesticides, herbicides, insecticides, homicides, and suicides,

34. Attain universal enlightenment and become spiritual guru to monetize this achievement.

35. Write and publish e-book create online workshops to charge lots of money by telling people what’s wrong with them and how to fix it.

36. Prevent global extinction of every living creature on earth.

37. Come up with a simple and inexpensive plan to refreeze Arctic ice shelf. Again, call Elon for tips.

38. Write to Jimmy Carter again to ask him if Habitat 4 Humanity can provide temporary housing for polar bears.

39. Work on the plan to prevent the sun from burning through its remaining nuclear fuel causing the Sun to expels its outer layers to form a white dwarf which will contract into a black hole.

40. Catch up my sleep.


Many thanks to Eliezer Sobel for his ideas and inspiration in writing this post.